How we Motivate our Kids

Hey, y’all!!  Today, I am linking up with Shay and Erika for their fun monthly link-up “How We” Wednesdays!

How We

Each month, we share all about how we handle different areas of our life.  I am excited to dive into these different topics!

How We schedule

Truth be told: I am a busy girl….I manage three precious kiddos, their commitments, a photography business, this blog, a fun Stella and Dot gig, and much more.   I can’t wait to share what’s worked for our little family and read about your awesome tips, too.   My best ideas always come from my friends, so I am excited to hear what you have to say as well!

Today’s topic is all about how we motivate our kids, and I am super interested to read everyone’s ideas!  I can always use parenting ideas!!   I always say parenting is an ongoing process…Once you have babies figured out, they turn into toddlers, and once you’ve figured out potty training and such, they head off to school…and once you think you are the  smartest parent ever, they turn into teenagers and you start all over again and have to change your defensive strategies…haha!  😉

  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff…Focus on the Big Picture. My pediatrician once told me that 75 percent parenting is a battle of control with our kids, and that always has just kind of stuck with me.  Don’t get me wrong: we are always teaching and guiding, but if someone wants to be a picky eater I don’t fight it because I know that’s not a battle I will win. 🙂  Or if my teen needs to learn something the hard way, then I let him even though that’s so hard.  In our experience, when you choose not to engage in the matters where they are expecting a battle and the circumstances aren’t dangerous, they are ready to listen to when it really matters.
  2. Obedience is great, but make sure they obey from their heart and not just because you said so. This one was hard for me to come to terms with, and I will say that Rob is much better at this then I am! haha!  This one requires patience instead of immediate action, so that’s why it took me a little longer to grow in this area. 🙂 I am all for an obedient child, but making sure that their obedience stems from what’s in their heart versus ‘because I said so.” is so helpful when motivating your kids! It’s that whole idea that relationships motivate kids more than rules do.
  3. Grace upon grace.  Who could be motivated when there is no grace involved in the equation? Grace upon grace for all of us including our kids, right?  They are going to mess up, so giving them the space to do so is awesome motivation for them!
  4. Motivate with what drives them.  I will tell you a secret: My kids are highly motivated with technology and food.  Say the words “Extra Screen Time” or “Ice Cream for everyone”, and the five of us can clean our house from bathrooms to kitchens, to mopping, dusting, and vacuuming in an hour flat.   Know their currency and use it!  It’s great for them to work towards goals and receive a reward!

Okay, leave your tips for motivating kids in the comments, y’all!  I would love to hear all about it!!  And, thank you girls for an awesome link up! Happy Wednesday! XOXO Narci

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16 comments

  1. Great tips, Mama!! Thanks so much for linking up! And even I can dust quickly if there’s ice cream waiting for me. 😉

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  2. Great tips!! I took a parenting class once that said (esp when dealing with strong minded kids) to pick your battles!!! Kind of like what you said with the battle for control. There will be some issues come up that have to be a flat out NO so save your No’s for when they really count! And try to give the Yes’s when you can! That has always stuck with me

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  3. These are outstanding tips. REALLY. So true about getting them to obey with their heart, not just because you said so. The one about pick your battles really spoke to me….thanks. I also try hard (and fail often) with THINK BEFORE I SPEAK, and listen ……and pause before I speak. hahahaha Kids can push buttons, so it’s best for me to take a deep breath and think before I react. (working on this).

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  4. I so needed to hear number two this morning. That’s our struggle right now in our house. Thanks for the great information.

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  5. I was curious if you’d share (or maybe you already have a post) on screen time. Our kiddos are around the same age and this is a struggle for us. We just moved so my oldest (10) is definitely getting more screen time than I’d like. Do yours earn it, set limitations? We have certain things he must do before he can play. Our youngest a girl (7) luckily just plays and does her own thing ha! I think girls are just better with that!

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  6. have you read any Dobson books? Some good ideas you have hear, but I tell ya, you’re the only mom I’ve ever heard who “manages” her kiddos. Except maybe Kris Kardashian 🤣 don’t most moms “manage” (aka raise) their children? Lol. I get what you mean, though! I think! Do you have a separate photography site? My family will be passing through Dallas & i’d love some updated family pics!

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I love to hear from you! Leave a comment here! :) XO Narci

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